I want to die. Marc and I were making out in the hallway and fell into a fire hose in a glass case. It shattered everywhere. Everyone thought we fell out a window. I think I have glass in my back. Awesome.
It was weird. Like "Mom, Dad, here's a guy who knows my orgasm face".
Come down. Bring Jorts. We're getting ready for this tricycle race like champions.
Don't let her tell you any different. She licked the balls of my hamster for that $100. It was a group bet. She won.
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
The gay viking and his eqyptian 'queen' hooked up on our couches. They pushed them together to make a bed. Innovative, but awkward to come home from work to at 7 am.
Clearly that person doesn't understand how efficient getting drunk and working out at the same time is.
the night ended with taco bell and tears
Blood and glitter go together right?
oh no, don't get me wrong.. she IS really pretty. If you are in to horses or Sarah Jessica Parker.
Girl Logs Into Twitter Only To Find Out Her Dad Is Trending For The Most Outrageous Reason
Just used the leftover candycorn for candycorn vodka. Our house is trying to continue the Halloween spirit for as long as possible.
This is the second time in a week I've woken up with your bra in my bed and I've had to sit and think about how it happened.
You should make it a point to use vocabulary that is competition appropriate around him, like "champion" and "training" and "victory sex"
I'm trying to find candidates for my winter break hook up. I'm going to hold auditions thanksgiving break.
I'll have my TA grade the tests, she needs something to do anyway. Wanna race to the bar on segways?