Honestly I think at this point I purposefully schedule nothing on Sundays anymore so I can spend all day wallowing in my shame.
Drinking, I should not. Got here I don't know. Still drunk, I am. At courtneys.
Your CAR. Is in a LAKE. I'd say "a big mess" is a pretty conservative description of the situation.
whose ass print is on the piano?
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It's a given that you're going to get peed on at a country concert
I'm gonna do some tripping... In the direction of balls
Dude, I found out having naked people in your car is a felony.. Now were all fucked.
I'm convinced my penis is the only thing holding this relationship together.
My public calorie counter app is pretty much just a cry for help.
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No. Cease was criminally insane from birthday shots, and not a lot of women want to go home from the bar with a guy who wants to "snuggle but keep it strictly professional".
Trying to find a reliable dealer on Rockfordmugshots.com. Guy arrested for 15 grams of coke could be him !
You realize those people have been ARRESTED recently. right.
don't trust your eyes. just sniff them. if they smell like axe, they are broke, move on to the next.
He equated my biology degree to a belief in Santa. I wonder if he heard the doors to my vagina clanging shut.
I woke up at 5:47 in the morning to you peeing on my parents bedroom floor. I think we've established that you have a limit .