If you're going to outback I'll have to decline, I've slept with a large enough portion of their staff already.
in the past 3 nights i've fucked a millionaire, a drug dealer and a civil engineer... i dont really have a "type" anymore
She got a digital picture frame for her birthday. FINALLY - a place for me to sneak all those penis shots I've taken with my iPhone.
WHATEVER CLASS IS PLAYING "TOOT IT AND BOOT IT" AT 8:30 IN THE MORNING, I WANT IN.
Guy Shares All The ‘New Discoveries’ He’s Made Since Moving In With His Girlfriend And It’s Hilariously Relatable
I remember convincing the limo driver to smoke with us and if he did I would name my first son after him.
Wait til she sees the pic of her vag in court docs.
Why is there blood and lettuce everywhere?
Some are given great drunkenness. Others have great drunkenness thrust upon them, in the form of ice storms.
I got groped on the dancefloor by both grooms. I love gay weddings
Guy Accidentally Starts A Group Chat With All The Girls He’s Talking To And Gets Absolutely Roasted
I'm really starting to miss his dick. Like so much I'm actually tempted to try and work things out with him again.
Well yea but it's the principle of the thing.. The fact that he could actually BE your daddy
i'm sorry, but my penis isnt the solution to your problems
She's yelling about threesomes and realllly wants you to come over. Put the pieces together.
Oh, and no balcony sex...trust me.