aparently we are going to have sex infront of her friend. ill call you tomorrow
I just told a kid I was in a wheelchair because Santa shot me due to me being on the naughty list. You should have seen this little bastards face
you didnt have any toilet paper so I just took a shower
Well we're gonna drink when we get home and I just invited the cab driver to play beer pong
Next time when I try to seductively eat onion rings while drunk remind me of tonight.
I got 87 likes on my changed relationship status. It's official. I'm way more fucking awesome single.
They're mostly guys
Early bird gets the worm.
I plan on gettn treatment center drunk
I haven't seen him since I gave him a hand job in the hospital. I like to think I contributed to his speedy recovery.
He's nice but I'm a one bouncer kind of girl
Last thing I remember clearly was, "ok, but if we're are gonna get drunk before class, there's no half-doing this"
nosebleed girl is getting lots of praise
There is a clear recurring theme of me having sex in restrooms that really needs to stops
why is pumping your own stomach in your searches on youtube?
While we were having sex he told me "this is what you get for not parking my car right" I have never drove his car. He was that kind of weird.