3 of us had 22 margaritas. Hellllllo yellow cab. Goodbye morals.
The whole way homeyou were flapping your arms up and down, and when I asked why you said you were trying to tell Tony Danza about the angels.
Took her home last night and it was like trying to put an oyster in a slot machine. I may have drank a little too much.
The visine ive been using for four yrs expired. in sept. of 2001.....i will never question my eye problems again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
do you remember waking up from your blackout, kissing me ever so softly on the stomach, and saying "i love you bro. so much," then passing back out?
Responsibility does not care about your dick.
Why didn't I see you last night!?
We made out like 4 times....I think I saw you.
God I love incriminating evidence...wonder what the statue of limitations is on shitting on someones driveway
Woke up shivering behind the titty bar, With the worst leg cramps. I'm like a poster boy for responsibility.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I remember seeing his penis I just dont know exactly what I did with it
Oh boom. You're officially Dr Phil. I need to have sex that I actually remember participating in.
Funny how I'm trusting a magic 8 ball I found in the kids toy section to tell me about my sex life
Today was brought to you by the letter B for beer and bourbon and the number fuck you I'm meant to be studying not hungover
I feel slightly un-patriotic right now... I just got cock blocked by the Air Force!
Is it something I'm going to want to hug you for or slap you for?
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