So remember when i bet you that girl uses dick to validate her existence?
...yea
She's valid.
Where are you? I just made a vodka + cranberry & I’m going to drive there & throw it in your face
We put her face under a blacklight.....it looked like fireworks
drinking warm bud heavies i found in the garage and googling how to tell the gosselin kids apart.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wish i could tell a story about guys I know without the phrase "and then I blew him." coming up.
They had miseltoe over the keg.... thats cheating
I just took the soap out of the bathroom and hid it... this way I could see if she would say anything. you know, to see how clean she was
I'm gonna stay in bed all day and watch porn in an attempt to stay warm.
And when I say "complete whore" I mean I could possibly make a shameful profit by wearing this.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She keeps sending, "show me your elephant trunk."
I had to talk to the cops at my front door in a bathrobe, with the buttplug still in.
Nope. I've found you care about two things in life: your momma and spreading your seed.
I just plagiarized Dr. Curtis Connor's ideology from Spider-man in an essay on genetically engineered embryos. College: academic integrity at its finest.
It's 7am. I'm making pizza & watching the Matrix. I will not be bothered.
To answer your next question, yes, I'm drunk.
Someone fucked a stripper in their rental car, there is goddamn glitter everywhere.
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