I'm drinking till I'm someone else's problem
If you want to dance with a less than stellar Asian chick, I have just the girl for you.
This may sound mean but have u ever just sat in class and look at some of the the people and think how disappointed their parents must be
We're going clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
What will that accomplish?
It will accomplish clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
the caf people were giving us weird looks and she yelled ITS A LIFE STYLE
oh my god. separately texting an Allie and an Ally while drunk is hard, and I'm climbed 1/2 way up a bridge pier.
Theres a midget tsa agent. Just an observation
Do you have any pics of the gummy penis incident?
I'm gonna give him birthday punches. On the dick. With my mouth.
Dad just asked me to breathalyze grandma
I've learned life lessons in Vegas. Mostly, drugs are cheaper than alcohol.
Remember when you tried to talk but you could only count by 2s?
your penis is a great and majestic leader among the penises.
I'm in the recliner and i have a bottle of wine wedged in my cleavage, drinking from a straw. Clever and classy or pathetic and sloppy?
So not only did I get laid today but I also left with a 42” tv lol
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