You found a girl to hook up with at a gay bar?
No. His name was Paco. I didn't get it by choice. I never had a hickey before.
we might have left him a semi topless video on his wall. godd i just hope they suspend my accont so i stop doing thses things.....
listening to techno makes your hand move faster while masterbating
i never told you how having a club foot got me laid
We just stood on the porch wondering how you managed to puke up a whole piece of bologna
he said 'i love fucking you, ashley'. it was the most romantic thing he's said during sex because he actually used my name.
hotel security told us you walked into the hotel with blood all over your dress, weren't wearing any underwear and were escorted back by three men who were believed to be "homosexuals".
If I were there, I'd be putting a martini in you, via funnel if need be, and you would be doing this thing.
of course! give me a few hours to recover from chugging a 4loko out of a frisbee, and it will be rage time yet again
oh come on since when have relationships been boundary lines for us
fair point
I just walked past a guy banging a chick in the back of his car.
Take a shit and have a hit. It's the Sunday Funday Rule.
You told him about your cats? I told his friend to put his dick in my mouth, and you talked about cats!?
Dude my doctor just legit got down on her knees and loudly begged me to do my pap smear
You started singing Baby Shark, screamed you have no idea how it goes, then somehow turned the beat into Bohemian Rhapsody
Randomize
