I sent her a Relationship Request on Facebook last night, she accepted and we fucked.. I changed my Relationship Status to Single, I think she'll get the point
I can't believe all I ate yesterday was half a turkey sandwich and 20 finger licks of exctasy.
Woke up to 'distilleries' on the history channel. Proceded to vomit all over the floor. Back on the wagon today.
His glasses broke on the way to the bar aNd he ended up talking to this butterface all night. I didn't have the heart to tell him
Satisfying Perfect Camera Moments
if you hear someone banging on your door early in the morning, it's me with some breakfast burritos, so don't be alarmed
Don't worry we found her. Somehow she ended up on my roof with 2 bar stools
Ya,, he does have virgin eyes. Thats a real thing you know...
Dude, you need to come clean your dates vomit off the ceiling. What in the hell were you guys doing?!
Not only was there cake on the wall but someone shoved cake and meat in a cup and put it in the fridge.
This Dog Travel Carrier is a Must
Do you know how to give stiches?
I do not...this text concerns me
This question may sound intrusive, but how did pushing out a baby affect your vagina?
I wanna send them a card but I don't think hallmark makes a "sorry your fiance and another girl blew me at the same time in a frat house but congrats!" card
They left around 10:00 this morning. I've been naked since 10:01.
He said something last night about making crepes, but after getting pissed on in bed, I question everything.
I'm just down here gazing up into your ivory tower of nudes