Your date looks like the Cloverfield monster. good luck.
can "i'm close!" be our safe word(s)?
oh geez, wrong person.
The walk of shame is far, far worse on crutches.
Highlight of the day: realizing the man in the car next to mine was getting road head... at 2:45pm... nicely done sir, nicely done.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up to my dog trying to clean my vagina.
Going to bed. I have to wake up early and teach small children. And then have affairs with their fathers. I'm going to get deported.
I woke up to her staring at me in a corner moaning over and over again about how good the pie crust tasted
He made me leave when I challenged "all you bitches" to a game of strip taboo.
I got 87 likes on my changed relationship status. It's official. I'm way more fucking awesome single.
They're mostly guys
Early bird gets the worm.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know it's been a while when you're having to resort to positive conditioning to get women
Also this guy fingered me at the bar and then gave me his card
You are hereby uninvited from future Turnt Tuesdays until further notice.
There is no issue with you seeing me...morally or ethically. we'll update your resume anyway. I really need to have sex with you later. Really
I'm handling the NHL draft worse than getting dumped this week
I did a trust fall off the bar and then almost got into a knife fight over a push up competition. Just another Tuesday.
Randomize