I would like to feed your fingertips to the wolverines.
38 yer olds are good kisserssss
I wish I could get plan B off e-bay so it would be a secret and cheap.
I just woke up with streamers wrapped around me. Glitter in my hair. My fish are swimming in empty bottles of Barcardi. Helpppp
23 People Reveal The Worst Culture Shock They’ve Ever Experienced While Traveling
Hey welcome to Rick's drunk text tree. Rick is drunk right now please respond with "shut up" to remove your name from this list. Thanks for playing.
coming out of a blackout being surrounded by Disney police was not as awesome as it sounds.
Weekday college schedule so far: get high as tits. Watch Family Guy marathons. Repeat.
He just tried to eat my hair and he keeps talking about pissing on everything, come home soon I beg of you
I want to get business cards and hand them to hot guys and say " hey if you ever want to like makeout and pretend it never happened call me"
27 People Confess Their Proudest Fap
It's only slutty if you don't have his number. Unless there's a full moon. Then anything goes.
But the Super Mario beer pong table is more than appropriate.
They're frat boys at heart and have sickly, dusty, rotting souls.
Yeah but sometimes your vagina needs to be fed and when we are drunk we tend to eat junk food
The bump on my forehead, i think, was from falling asleep at front door, on my knees, slumped over. But we played good music so what?
It's like I'm getting a welcome home parade with sex!