My feet smell like cheese. Makes me hungry.
I tried watching the view, i got through 8 minutes. That is probably a world record.
They always sound like a bunch of chickens.
When she sits down, she uses her fat rolls like an arm rest.
I just heard an old guy ask the chick he was with if she wanted to try ass to mouth...
thanks for that.
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well after he sqeezed a zit off his forearm i got the hell outta there
Dude i just want you to know that when i found you half your mustache was already gone. I didn't do it.
drunk lawn darts. Let's test the homeowners policy
Hey they cleaned all the blood out of the elevator. Also could you pick up some nachos?
soo how bad was i last night?
licking sour cream off of the table at pancheros bad.
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I tried to get you a girl. They want us to cook breakfast though
Lolll I'll be sleeping
I'm practically buying you a 1 way ticket to pound town.
What I love about college? The kid tripping balls has a kayak made readily available to him on any given Wednesday, Saturday, or Sunday.
Before I left he insisted on serenading me with a ukalele. I might be a little bit in love
Dude, did you know, your blood is contaminated with over 17 non-beer fluids?
Sounds like she has 4 first names. Like a sad version of Ricky bobby
Actually we have similar relationship styles aka no relationship... it could work