I just put out an orange level terrorist threat on her punani
standing in the yard with no pants on waiting for google maps to come and take a picture.
I'm cheering for the colts this year. I basically have to since my fake says i'm from indianapolis
Another night, another sound of my neighbor almost having an orgasm.
And she used to have such long ones. Sad.
These 25 People Believed Fake Facts For Way Too Long
Bubblewrap condoms. We can steal Ziplock's new slogan. Protection you can hear.
She's the barista slut.
I JUST SAW A SIGN LANGUAGE CATFIGHT
Well, now that you have a gf, its gonna be awkward when I get drunk and make out with you..... Then later, pretend like I don't remember.
I NEED YOU HERE TO KNOCK THE MALT BEVERAGES OUT OF MY MOUTH
23 Adults Confess The Irrational Fears They Had When They Were Kids
According to him, i kept saying "I'm belligerent as SHIT" and tried to run around the house in just my bra and underwear. Thats when they decided to carry me to the car and take me home.
I had another sex dream about you but it was very dissatisfying. As you finished you starting singing the star spangled banner. then you left. I was not amused.
Denial and avoidance are my survival strategies for 2013.
Denial, avoidance and beer.
Hold on, I need to find something to wear that says "I don't contribute to your daughter's drug problem"
She told me I should be proud of my dick pics, then told me she was in love with me, then I dropped her off at her boyfriend's. I was a new kind of failure tonight.
Come over. And we'll put iced coffee in the bong.