You found a girl to hook up with at a gay bar?
No. His name was Paco. I didn't get it by choice. I never had a hickey before.
It was the first time I had seen his penis when it wasnt hard. It just looked so vulnerable and a little bit depressed.
Just did my hair and make up at mcdonalds so we're in the same boat.
You had the genius idea to tape beer to the celing fan. There goes his security deposit. He is gonna be fuckin pissed.
I just saw the Mona Lisa in the background of a porno. Whole new appreciation for art. fuck you I'm cultured.
"Shots" of grape juice. I fucking hate Utah soooo fucking much.
SIMBAAAA REMEBER WHO YOU ARE
WOKE UP NEXT TO A PLATE OF MEATBALLS HAPPY MONDAY
you're hired as official boob wrangler
It was a frighteningly large penis to say the least
It feels appropriate that the wallet of my high school and college years would die at the hands of a spilled bong. Which in and of itself is a solid metaphor for those years.
For someone who wanted a break I'm getting way to much dick
I woke up not knowing what state I was in. Turns out, people from Deleware are pretty helpful.
Just made a secret hand shake with my sisters cat. Boredom at its finest.
27 year olds can still do oral in a car right? Or is that trashy?
Randomize
