Reason #82 that I need to get laid: my pubes are getting split ends.
its 4th on my favorites list. 1. butt sex 2. mini skirts 3. three meat pizza rolls 4. fuck the pain away by peaches
so I have this game called 14 beers left. and we both have to drink 7 before we leave
We're too lazy to do dishes, so we're making sangria in a flower vase.
Where can I buy a trophy for a Groupie Award?
She had sex with a merch guy. . . band guys make you groupies, Merch guys just means she's easy.
Hey since its national brother week is that eiffel tower option with your girlfriend still on the table?
These are all good points. But, I think your under estimating what it's like to be held upside down for a standing 69
Toppless hop-scotch needs to become a competitive sport
I hooked up with Spider-Man on the hood of Santas car. I kept saying that he could shoot his web at me. Also I found Waldo. Overall good night.
Oh my god I haven't had mozzarella sticks since I banged that Applebee's waiter
fuck you I'm eating salad I can't be drunk.
I just made my dating life into my own game show. would you like to meet the contestants? (photos not included)
I was having a dream that I was swimming in a pool filled with melted chocolate but woke up to find I had poured chocolate milk all over my body
You know it's a bad cold when sneezing feels better than orgasming...
So do I get points for screwing my recently single ex boyfriend and then telling him to go fight for his ex back?
Randomize
