my mom and grandma just had a splits competition. slut runs in the family
In case you were wondering, it hurts when the bouncer throws your phone at you after kicking you out of the strip club for taking pictures.
My life now consists of 2 time frames. BV before vibrator and AD after death of my sex life.
You know how girls with huge tits have back problems? Do you get knee problems or something?
I am far too hungover to deal with the fact I can hear you masturbating in the bathroom.
WHAT DID YOU SAW VERBATIM. VERBATIM IS SOBER FOR WORD FOR WORD
Your stories are the best. I feel like you're a spy among the heteros. It's not fair.
I just want to get drunk and wake up on Wednesday
5 hours of volunteer work playing with puppies and banned from the frat I hate most as 'punishment'... Besides the ER trip, I'm not seeing the bad in this situation
How much do souls cost? I feel like I need one if those.
I gave him head while despicable me 2 played in the background. I think I disappointed the minions
I think I'm so comfortable in my sexual relationship because he mostly wants to see me naked with large plates of bacon tastefully placed upon my body
She always used to joke about becoming a stripper. WHO'S FUNNY NOW?!
You spent the entire night trying to catch pigeons and hugged a homeless guy and then gave him a pregnancy test.
He made me ask permission to to cum and it made me cum.
Randomize
