Tell her she's as useless as a condom.
apparently i'm not the first person wake up and realize she's ugly cuz i tore this house apart and there is no sign of my clothes
there hasn't been a girl guy ratio this good since a guy jumped on one of the Titanic life rafts
easter eggs filled with ecstasy. it's what jesus would do.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Anytime you have a hot, flirty, married woman that wants to ride you like a horse and slap your ass, you've got to do it.
Yeah, but four times?
That was a $3000 rug we rolled him down the hill in.
I was pissing in the urinal at the concert and some drunk chick ran in and yelled 'but the lines to fucking long' then ran out with 10 state troopers chasing her... Yeah
Please tell me why your entire hallway smells like microwaved condoms.
Look, as a friend I'm asking to see a picture of his tiny dick
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If anyone ask I'm rushing for brotherhood, not so that this bartender will suck my dick
Im in mikes bed telling my vagina I'm sorry in advance.
I just told him he had gained a new brother. He immediately knew I meant the eskimo kind.
He's def the type to chop us into bits whilst screaming "NAPA BITCH". AKA my type
You didn't try to help me when I fell on the dance floor. She brought me cupcakes. You're a shitty friend, suck your own dick.
Mixing Powerade and white wine has been one of my better ideas.
Randomize