So we were sitting in his back seat and he asked me if I practiced giving head. I mean really, who asks that?
i'd like someone to explain to me why my clothes are all sticky. including my fanny pack. yes, this is a mass text.
My dealer, who also happens to be a male stripper, just invited me to watch him perform tonight. Boundaries buddy, boundaries.
nothing like morning wood sex at 4pm. funemployment ftw
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We thought we had lost her until we found her in the bushes a block away singing "Jingle Bells".
Considering the last guy I had sex with was gay, this was a huge improvement.
I really don't think you should have 'baptized' your tattoo in vodka the same night you got it.
Does making ice cubes at 4 in the morning count as being productive?
I tell myself every day I shouldn't be friends with you
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just thought you should know, Im with josh now. Im no longer available for rent. I have a full time tenant now. Like, a year long lease at least.
Looking through my moms phone and find a pic if a dick. Scarred for life.
Did I tell you I bit someone's arm for you last night
I am in an eBay bidding war over a build a bear one direction tshirt, this is who you choose to bone
And I'm sorry for punching you in the face when I drunkenly threw my sandwich
Dude there's ten thousand dollars worth of damage to the kids house and three thousand in stolen property and his dog is missing he is pissed
If I give him back his dog do you think he'll invite me to the next party
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