guess who came home with a hottie last night
Def drugged
At a sweet 16. cant remember what shirt im wearing byt dnt worry im not sleeping w/ the guy who serves the chicken nuggets again
Dogs love guiness but it fucks up their kidneys
just saw way to many penises for it being 5 o'clock on a thursday
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When they arrested me, they gave me a bracelet with my mugshot and info. When you get one they can be our BFF Bracelets.
you looked at her and told her she looks like the girl you lost your virginity to then told her you wanted to lose it to her again
Just missed the last train for another 5 hours. There are balls in or around the mouth of my life.
I'm pretty sure I asked his brother if he was gay while drunkenly falling to the ground.
$150 and 3 orgasms. Dogsitting is awesome.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't know what's worse. The fact that my biological mother is an unwitting bigamist, or the fact that my half sister is trying to seduce my girlfriend.
My little sister just helped me edit my nudes so that's how my night is going
Jamie's fucking a senior citizen and I'm eating chips and salsa in the shower at 2am, so whatever you're doing it can't be worse.
Let the clothes fall where they may.
Really dude? drunk texts at 9 in the morning? its wednesday
So this ukranian guy got angry and took his clothes off. Now he has my credit card and I can't find my keys.
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