i wore my purity necklace wen we fucked. but its ok cuz simplified was blasting in the background
hahahaha. im glad listening to simplified justifies breaking ur promise to god
She turned over and said "You smell like my dad, i just can't do this"
felt a little awkward waiting for my McNuggets after vomiting all over the counter
I thought his dick was headless. then I pulled back the foreskin.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Totally forgot this... How weird was it when they were licking our faces
Today my mom told me "that's what worries me about you getting blacked out drunk... You don't look pretty"
You do resemble something that has been used as a chew toy.
I'm currently braless eating the balls of the penis cake and drinking warm champagne. I'm 3 cats away from crazy at this point
On our way there. Drinking my beer out of a coffee pot. Cuz it's my bday
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Then that is decided. Fuck away my little bunny rabbit.
I'm at the point where I'm more upset that he got to keep my bottle of Fireball than that he stopped talking to me with no explanation
When you accidentally text the wrong guy for a dick pic and your surprised you get one In return. He just got on my "to do" list
I wanted to buy shoes but nothing fit. So i'm getting a vibrator.
I woke up naked and you weren't here. What a relief.
I woke up to rachel asking "did anyone else fall out of a tree last night?"
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