accomplished twins. life is a go
is it bad that the only reason i knew what antidote meant in class today, was from years of playing pokemon?
I need to not be around brick walls while intoxicated.
He puked at the bar then immediately procceded to slip in it, they loaded him up into a wheelchair, then the staff and myself walked him outside, all the while never having to pay for our tab. SO using this strategy again
Dude give me 4 good reasons we shouldn't trade girlfriends tonight
You crawled through a doggy door 5 times for a shot if cheap vodka.
You went to jail last night?!
Just a little bit.
2048oz a keg...divide that by solo cup... comes out to 128 beers...simplifies into 5.3repeating cases...drinkable between two people
and u failed math?
Guess who just bought an ounce of pot via Paypal, and paid for it with my airline Visa card to earn miles?
Congratulations. That business degree is finally worth every penny it cost you.
i put frozen meatballs in my drink thinking they were ice cubes and I'm vegetarian wtf
Cat needed to get out last night. Walking to the door was too much effort so I encouraged (pushed) him to leave via window.
Isn't your room on the second floor?
I feel like I had a successful night. I flashed the guy at the liquor store last night for 2 free tshirts and a giant redbull.
You don’t need a wing man if you have a solid hook up on the pumpkin pie
i don't want him to see me in a bathing suit.
hasn't he seen you naked?
well yeah, but it's different in a bathing suit.
Granted, I did not plan to spend ANY hour of the last day of 2020 sober.
Randomize
