At an apparent methhead hillbilly bar and was smiling for a pic when one toothless wonder screamed "look at all them teeth"!
We walk out of his house and his dad is there, so I had to meet him and shake his hand pretending that same hand hadn't been down his son's pants five minutes earlier
I'm so tired of dating women who lie about their age. You show up feeling like you need to follow them around with a dust pan and a broom.
operation harelip BJ is a go
were with a gay guy with a minnesota accent. think about how funny that sounds.
he wrote me a grocery list while i was passed out. every other item was gin. it went on for 4 pages.
there are teeth marks in the soap. why are there teeth marks in the soap.
If I end up married to you I better get lots of orgasms to help me forget I failed at life.
Hefty paycheck and not get wasted can't exist in the same night
God I hope my hair dresser doesn't realize that all these hairspiration pictures are from gay porn blogs on tumblr.
Her fortune said that she will soon be free. She's taking her bra off at the table.
Visiting Houston was a good decision for my penis.
I have to estimate how long it takes them to get to the bedroom so that I can sneak out of my room and get snacks. If she's anything like me, they're in bed the second he gets here and I can get snacks now
I just wanna have sex and go to Denny's after is that too much to ask for.
Did I, at any point last night, say I was dying?