I hope you fall in a pool of honey in an immensely populated region of bears.
I was talking to this girl who was in love with the air force. I was doing decently until I mentioned that the navy actually has more planes. Cockblocked by my knowledge of random trivia again.
She loves me even though she knows all Ive done. Shes kind of like jesus.
If the blowjob was before the wedding, we're not technically related, right?
10 Things Your Gyno Wants You To Stop Doing To Your Vagina
So recap time do u remember biting that girls hand?
Just sucked my third dick in the past twelve hours. I must want AIDS.
We had sex in the morning in pregnant lady position. Like fuck me like the hott piece of ass that I am, not your wife of 7 years.
saw a dude wearin soccer cleats at the bar tonight. fuckin kiddin me man?
Don't call police on the strange man passed out in his car in the driveway. I'll be home around noon to collect him.
For Some Reason, Boys Are Singing The ‘Halo’ Theme Song In School Bathrooms
Where are you and why are you fighting with a bird?
I think about him when I masturbate so I guess you could call it love
A real best friend would support the hoe in me. Not remind me of what happened the last time I slept with a boss
woke up on my floor using my jeans i wore out as a pillow
haha i wouldn't expect any less of you
Listen, I just paid for a hotel room, so I didn't have to have sex in his car. I'm adulting successfully.
I've scurried myself in your trunk come find me in the morning