why would she cut her hair? she needs all the distractions possible from those texas-sized gums and horse teeth.
i wish i could swallow nair and shit it out and it would get rid of all my ass hair.
apparently i was just sitting there with my shirt down holding my boobs saying "its ok. its all gonna be ok"
She wants an explanation of my cousins creepy foot fetish with my god sister. i don't know how I can sum this up in a text.
Keanu Reeves Photobombed A Couple’s Wedding Photos As A Perfect Gift
Basically as long as the fan is pointed at my vagina i can cool off enough to sleep.
Dude you were sitting on a bench on the street with her for 45 minutes thinking you were on the bus
being pregnant is like rehab
Pants-less sunday? Also I'm high and independence day is making me cry
im coming over
Well, on the plus side, the hospital gave me a shirt that says "Makes a bad ass look good"
29 Married People Share What They Used To Find Cute About Their SO—But Now Find Infuriating
I flossed his teeth and then we had sex in the bathroom. It just seemed like a good idea.
Oh boom. You're officially Dr Phil. I need to have sex that I actually remember participating in.
Nhl reached an agreement. I plan on getting me some celebratory sex from a hockey player.
i got up, ate a McDouble, then went straight back to bed.
You sure know how to make a day worth living.
Please come to class. I miss you and I have a horse mask
The worst part is there are all kinds of happy creatures out here like fucking snow white and i'm sitting in semi-dead grass, hungover with a burnt butt