I saw his dick soo much last night when I saw him this morning all I saw was penis where his face should be
I just found all of my Mary-Kate and Ashley movies. Can you say drinking game?
What'd you guys eat?
Literally everything that was frozen.
herpes texted me again. he says he wants my vagina.
ok we should really consider changing this guys nickname...
I am 100% positive that I have seen a porno that was shot in this bar.
We didn't have sex but he is somehow naked and laying on top of me. his dick is touching my leg and freaking me the fuck out.
Its not that I don't mind giving her as much as my penis as she wants, its the post sex cigarette I have to supply. Shits $9 a pack.
Put a tip jar next to your bed from now on.
Your good ideas are reason #4 we need to live together.
I feel like I'm in an ocean of eels jacking me off
FOund a bunch of old fireworks spring cleaning.
Who is our new insurance provider?
Ok. You have started something that can only end with a picture of the inside of my butthole. It may happen today or next year, but it's on my agenda.
You sent me a naked picture of you as a child? How is that normal
i need some magic done to my vagina
A+ Viking dick
Yeah but the jokes on her right? We just got a new couch and hers still has a cum stain on it from like six months ago
It’s easy for me to be professional, the tough part is finding the perfect amount of bitchy undertone