Oh. My. God. Best non-relationship, he-might-be-cheating-on-his-boyfriend-but-I-can't-tell-because-of-the-language-barrier sex EVER!
handjob tips. give me some.
I just want you to know the floor between our rooms isnt sound proof "Captain Cock"
I need to remember that good judgment goes out the window after the 7th shot and the 3rd Lady GaGa song.
there was some random girl that nobody really knew, standing in the corner trying to shave her armpits with a plastic butter knife.
in the past 3 nights i've fucked a millionaire, a drug dealer and a civil engineer... i dont really have a "type" anymore
Every time I get scared about the fact that I'm falling for him I remember that he juggles and is hung like a mastadon and everything is a-ok.
I've already reverted to sweat pants. And lonely drinking.
all law school has taught me so far is how to fart quietly during lectures and how to out-argue the ice cream guy when he screws me out of extra toppings.
PS: I just woke up from my shower
I just sent you a multitude of sexual pictures...and you responded with a Charles Dickens Quote.
And if you ever tell anyone that I have emotions ill kill you
It's called hot rabbit the party if he asks the password is "careful" don't ask
My puke in the shower morning just turned into a puke in the restroom at work afternoon. I'm the human embodiment of dumpster fire.
Just did the "lost my phone, need #'s" post and I got a text saying "go ahead and save me as Ashley-DD because I know you will anyway. I think I love her.
Randomize
