It looked like if robin williams had a vagina
Ana's brother is visiting for the wknd. He came back to our place last night drunk to find me passed out naked it in the shower with the water still running. I was still drunk. We decided it was a good idea to have sex and sleep on the bathroom floor. Woke up this morning spooning and using my towel as a pillow.
The freshman came home at 9 this morning with one heel, no pants, and a strangers sweatshirt covered in tequila-scented vomit. I think we're done corrupting her for a while.
just remembered that i started a tab for just myself at 50 cent beer night last night... i dont understand my life
omg i met someone at the bar who sells hair feathers. that are long. saved in my phone as "haiirs deather"
Is it too forward to say "stop being a good friend and start being a good fuck buddy"
So that's all you want from me. Easy ass.
And an everlasting friendship
Drinking Hot Toddies on the Porch and blasting bob dylans "hurricane" bring it on sandy!
I dreampt that we were shooting zombies while we having sex. Is that normal?
It takes a special friend to go vibrator shopping with
Yes. It does.
Just found out that his ringtone for me is a train blowing bc and I quote 'I know when you call I'm getting laid'
That moment during finals day when you either convince your teacher to let you out of the room or you shit you pants.
Was expecting a sext from Kristi and then my mom randomly sent me a pic of her ugly Xmas sweater. Worst. Buzzkill. Ever.
Worse. He's Mormon. At least a gay guy will go get drinks with me.
Just saw a car towing a guy on skis drive by so that’s how Syracuse is doing today.
Randomize
