you were wandering around the street for like an hour singing "nothing but socks on"..an original you wrote after the 12th shot i believe
its not thanksgiving till you and grandpa shotgun beers out in the shed, and lose
Why are all the dvds taped to the fish tank. Really.
hey you knew what you were in for when i showed up with 2 fifths of Jim. plus i left money to pay for a new sink
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think we've had way too many heart to hearts in the Mc Donalds parking lot for this to be a healthy relationship
you really cant fit homeless dj into your budget? doubles as charity
Seriously how many times do I have to sleep with him before he stops calling me dude
Does taking an old homeless guy to the strip club, buying him lap dances, and calling him pops all night count as a good deed???
So my mind was like YOU ARE TOTALLY GONNA MAKE IT TO CLASS TODAY but then my body was all LOL NO YOU AIN'T.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This morning was so rough I can't even. I was cutting up vegetables for my omelet on the floor. THE FLOOR. I sat on the floor because I felt like I was gonna vom.
We should just do therapy together, clearly we have all the same issues. It's why we are friends.
Um. Did you take a picture of me with a giant dildo after we went bowling?
I have a story for you. It involves waffles and getting naked with the local weatherman.
Did you know that chef boy-ar-dee was a real person? I watched a show about him. the history of the ravioli is more scandalous than you would think.
We're about to get drunk and it feels wrong without you
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