i found your underwear in my bra... i dont even remember how this happened.
shit. all i remember is the look on your moms face.
I had sex with him, and then he gave me a $5 Starbucks gift card. Totally worth it
i guess that's what happens when you find your girlfriend at the zoo
how are you not completely traumatized after 8 years of friendship with me?
rumor has it I kept asking you to go to the "tall grass" with me...sorry about that.
I told him I had AIDS after he bit me. His dad cried. I think I just ruined the little guy's 3rd birthday, but he had in coming.
Was just walking through the park by the river. Saw some random in a tree, we climbed up, blazed with him and bought a bag. In the tree. Real shit.
She is larger then a hippo. You could cut her open in the middle of a blizzard and crawl in like Luke skywalker. Throw a couch and a tv in there and you're set
And don't try to lose a condom in me tonight. My vagina is not a storage compartment where you can just leave something and try and use it again later in the week.
If me getting shot doesn't get me pussy I am officially gay
i ended up making out with my new neighbor in a stranger's car that we found unlocked on a driveway somewhere. apparently drunk self never say "no" to adventure.
I was a little curious what "unspeakable" things he could possibly do to my feet
I don't trust his life but I trust his penis.
he told me that I'm basically going to be the mom of the house when they move in...i like to see it as being a MILF without the responsibility of real children
Abby there's no shame in reading porn. It takes more work than watching I suppose
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