And then I chipped his tooth because I got too into it. Helloo, single life.
You were so drunk that you were trying to take pictures of a MILF at the park so you could send them to Adam, but you didn't want to "seem creepy," so you used taking pictures of her son as a cover. Needless to say, cops were called.
I seriously think I have a tan line on my stomach from getting a boner while in the taning bed.
did the walk of shame through a baseball field. .A little league game was going on. Proceeded to buy a hot dog at the concession stand. the looks were priceless.
organizing the empties. That sober.
Awkward moment #23: reasuring mom that the bf and I aren't having sex as seamen is running down my leg...
I just remember taking her cat for a walk around 3 am then falling asleep in a slide at the park
Hey couldn't find water bottle to put margs in whole bottle in purse gonna stop and get cups and ice from starbucks and burrito from una mas want a quesadilla
There's a picture of you on facebook laying in the street with 3 cops standing over you after you faceplanted off that guy's shoulders.
Is that what happened to my face?!
Something bad happened. I'm just giving you some notice. So you can smoke some pot and hide all sharp items in the house.
Yea not today, I ending up taking a shit behind a tree last night.
He told me he felt like he was just pistol-whipped by Testicle Man.
I've been smoking weed using candles all week and I just found a lighter. This may truly be the happiest moment of my life. It's embarrassing how excited I got
I fucked him twice and then he set me up with his teammate. This kid does wonders for me
I woke up in your kitchen with my ID in my hand and my nails were painted electric blue. Dude.... never let me have fireball again.
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