Theyre still fighting about whether its called america or the united states.
so...dinner was kid's cuisine and a bottle of wine. i think they go well together.
you win again, gameday.
We did it and he fell asleep and I was bored so I decided to go back to the party...is that bad?
Getting sheets for college, what is the thread count that shows the least amount of cumstains?
630.
i literally paused in the middle of it, turned on my light, pointed to the picture netxt to my bed and go "you hooked up with my roommate too!!! AWWW!" he was so weirded out. i don't think he understands the relationship we have..we share..
Before you even think your day was worse than mine, I had to disinfect and and stitch another dude's penis after his prince Albert got ripped out by an angry chick.
You should really trust me on this one. "hit it and quit it" might not be the best career move on your part...
Not sure how I feel about St Psts and March Madness being on the same weekend. I feel like I've been screwed out of a drunk holiday.
Oh ya, I forgot to tell you, last night I woke up to the sound of you peeing on the floor next to the fridge, didn't remember until now. Have fun at Dayton!
When the strippers start dancing to Christmas songs it's time to get the fuck out!
just woke up on my patio with a mouse eating cheetos off mys chest. youre all assholes.
She's so high she just screamed into the pile of takeout boxes "which one of you gave me diarrhea"
Sorry again for almost setting you on fire.
You talk the same way I hallucinate.
Randomize
