Dude, my boy c***** and I hooked up with Asian sisters last night in the same room
Then I put on blue by Eiffel 65 and security showed up and yelled at us for being too loud. Also, they stopped fucking because no one can fuck to eiffel 65
That was definitely a porn plot just waiting to develop...
i found a roscoes card in my pocket that says 'fuck me bare fo $15.20'. Wow
He told me to pick a safe word. I said 'cactus' and he said I wasn't taking this seriously and that I wasn't cut out for s&m.
Yessssssssss. I got taped to a couch last night apparently. I also thought i was close to scoring after talking to some chick about hard boiled eggs
Reached a new low. Drinking Wine from my thermos while on the stair master.
He has a lot of emotional energy invested in your vagina.
But I wanna cuddle and just put my hand awkwardly close to your penis area by accident and look at you
I have a diplomatic trade for you. My pants for your rum. Tomorrow?
I'm using the house around the corner that my parents rent out to people as a means of getting sex. I just tell them I'm going for a walk and just invite my next hook up over
I GOT JUDGED BY A GUY WORKING AT THE LEAST CLASSY STRIP CLUB. Peeing isn't a right, it's a privilege.
You've changed since you got that strap on
I hate when pubes grow back. My mons is a warzone.
I'm going to the store to get corona, salad, and blunt wraps...
Who the fuck puts glitter on their vagina? It’s all over my face and crotch.
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