i have to go see a new gyno today. he's a male. i just took 3 shots of tequila. its almost like freshman year... drink alcohol, meet a strange man, let him play with my vagina.
is it sad that i think every plant i pass on the highway looks like a plant from farmville?
you probably should not have drank the wine that everyone spits out. and the sad part, that was not even your low point last night
I think I just made patron unclassy I bought limes at a gas station and for salt we are using gas station packets of salt
my night ended in me puking all over jenna's bed, then me trying to wash the sheets in the toilet.
I'd appreciated it if you didn't lick my boyfriends face again. I'm askin nicely. Thank you.
I just dropped off shoes at Mike's hotel. The chick he hooked up with last night stole his phone and shoes.
how the fuck is Katelyn 5'1" and 85 lbs and she tackled a bouncer to the ground?
You know, I've never slept in a rug with anyone before you
Hey will pizza rolls help if you accidentally get a diabetic chihuahua drunk?
So you're mad that you saw a penis at a swinger's party? That's rational
dude I just found tht weird ass guy u invited last night passed out in my closet.... apparently he "couldn't find the exit"
Just told some little girl not to judge me as I brushed my teeth in the target bathroom
We don't have the same problems as normal people do we?
Oh don't mind my cushion, I got plowed in the ass by a freight train last night
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