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You gave him your vagina and this is what I get in return? This is bullshit!
I made myself breakfast and everything and then whoever's house it actually was came downstairs very upset.
just hang any plant up and call it mistletoe.
Found her laying down in a booth in iHop. She's a keeper.
don't you miss freshman year when you could get away with "but i've never given a bj before..."
he turned the pretty ricky playlist on. its about to go down.
We asked an illegal alien to buy us beer. He didn't even want a tip. I'm going to Washington to plead that case.
I woke up to him drunk-t-bagging me, saying "huevos rancheros" were being served for breakfast.
she asked to have her picture taken with every guy we walked by.
A man pulled out his penis last night and when I said I wouldn't touch it, he said, "that's fine it just needs to breathe".
I like the odds of his and my children being professional athletes too. To support me in my old age, see I do think about the future.
I think my whole family judged my ability to change under a blanket.
In a moving vehicle and other people in the car
What part of I'm done do you not understand? Im not going to send you sex photos to prove I've moved on..
Crazy how fast a room full of drunk teenagers sober up when someone breaks his parents' new flat screen
I bought an american flag today and by god im gonna fuck someone on it
Randomize
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