I have no voice and feel like lukewarm beer.
That guy over there looks like a cartoon/action figure.
omg, i know.
we're too high.
I just wanted to draw pictures of limp wieners on peoples doors and smash pictures of palm trees. That's it.
Just so you know, each of my boobs fits perfectly in a martini glass.
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i wish there was a 'silent except for booty calls' volume level on my phone
You missed out on a serious adventure. Cops were called. We put a chicken in someones house.
I seriously think my heart may fail. And I didn't even grab a toilet beer :(
I just had a threesome in the back of my mom's van. I'm pretty sure the rest of my week is going to be epic.
He's just so adorable. And I don't want to fuck someone who's adorable.
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And dildos are 35% off. So. Ya know. Savings.
I'm pretty sure I said "this might be the last time I'm in here" but then I took his pants off so that's a mixed message
Dude hobos go hard. I learned a lot last night.
I don't think this guy is worth it unless he's a skilled sexual amigo
My face feels like a midget just gave birth to quintuplets
VASECTOMY FOR THE WIN