...So a 6 ft tall drag queen in heels I would kill for just told me I have a dunkable ass. I'm confused...but I'll take any compliment I can.
Tip #47, don't trim the bush when you have the shakes!
I was just making a list of the girls i have slept with and i can't remember your sisters name
Why is there 6 cases of kwic trip dounuts dumped in my bed? Best 34 dollar wake up of my life
17 Women That Lost Condoms Up Their Lady Parts
I just found three unopened cans of PBR behind our futon that I think I was saving for winter.
He's doing the single life. He recently finished like a 3 year relationship. You can't date him.
But I don't want to date him. I just want to look at him. Naked. And in my bed.
There is a woman in the bar breastfeeding a baby. Doing shots. Gotta love maryland Applebees.
Somehow after we left in 3 different cars to all go to different places we still all ended up in the emergency room
apparently it isn't appropriate to tell a coworker who is eating celery because it's "negative calories" that a blowjob is too
23 People Confess The Most F*cked Up Thing Guests Have Done In Their House
Pushiiing vjews 4 ma daz caik
Lyk hr kuds 4
Yeah but I get laid and I know. He drank toilet water last night and he doesn't know about that either. Still makes me happy though.
Don't talk to me about lonely until you're eating marshmallows for dinner in your underwear watching House of Cards for 12 hours straight. I hate all you couples
I put purple lights under my bed and asked him if he wanted to fuck in a spaceship.
FUCK. EVERYONE MAKE MY CONTACT NAME DADDY ISSUES
I mean seriously with your cock and my tits combined we could rule the world. Pinky and the brain style