he texted me telling him i gave him the clap. but i think he gave it to me and i gave it back to him
his personality makes his face look like an asshole.
i forgot what you looked like. so we left to get pizza. sorry
so we started it doggy style, but since we were really drunk kinda fell to the side and turned into a 'lazy dog'... my new favorite position btw
Had a couple pieces of pizza for breakfast...suck on that Jamie Oliver.
He has crabs, not bed bugs. I recommend incoporating a clinic on this mornings walk of shame route.
He let me keep his flannel as a "good job" for the great head I gave him.
There's an australian, my relationship has no hope.
Okay, lets just agree to keep all cutlery related activities to a minimum.
I always give him head in random places, it's a guessing game for his cock.
I saw he had me in his phone as "the fat twin"
Dude, I found out having naked people in your car is a felony.. Now were all fucked.
I'll never get why we had to sing the entire full house theme to the cab driver.... never drinking rum again.
Mostly what I remember is someone saying "raise your hand if you're too turnt" then raising my hand and falling
My vagina has a heartbeat. That means I'm in love, right?