i think he might wanna be bffs again, but idk cause we're friends again but we haven't been bff since like a year. i don't know what to think...
wow. what a nail bitter. i need popcorn for this. brb
You went around chanting "dinosaur period" and drinking tomato soup from the can.
Will do. If it all falls thru I'm just gonna set up a sprinkler in my back yard and run thru it while taking jello shots. Perfect alternative to my 29th bday.
I just hit myself in the face while taking off my shirt. I could never be a stripper.
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Life isn't about who you kiss, drunk, at midnight. It's who you text nonsense to, sober, from the toilet.
In other news: I found out that my mom used to fuck my newest fuck buddy's dad when they were in school.
Just turned down sex because it's a holy day of obligation, my mom would be proud.
If we could give a gymnastic score to drunken nights, I would be a part of the Fab Five.
All i hear is "BITCH BETTER HAVE MY HONEY" and i turn around and there is a dude in a bear costume. It was fur real.
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It all went downhill when I figured out I could launch myself into people with my crutches
Literally every boy I've dated is now in a somewhat successful band. My vagina has obviously been blessed by the rock gods.
I just spent 5 minutes saying how beautiful you are and you come back with dont get fat cause you have weird nipples.
These past few weeks have been a lesson on why you don't put your penis inside girls who live in your building.
Go have fun. I'm gonna go shower off the regret.
I think I've had more sex in your bed than you have and I've only been here three days
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