I understand how i shit in my shoes, but explain why you were wearing them.
Those strippers last night smelled great. It was the perfect mixture of vanilla and daddy issues.
You left half a beer on someones car and claimed it was a second day of hanakuh gift
Sometimes to bang a cougar u gotta play wii With her kids
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I don't know what you're doing, but there's a dragon on my street.
I interrupted her conversation with, "are we gonna fuck yet?" and she immediately got naked. thanks for the blind date
Just for future reference: milk is NOT a good mixer no matter how drunk you are.
Plus you know he's just 2 semesters and 4 glasses of wine away from "experimenting" with some French major
Turns out, his fucking is as lame and staggered as his NFL career.
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well I think it'll pretty much be gone by Saturday. On a scale of 1- Snooki's unborn child how much do periods freak you out?
its 4am. im standing over him in my bed eating chinese food, on the phone with dan trying to convince him to break up with his gf. whoredom.
if you had such a terrible roommate you would understand. jacking off in his conditioner is just the start.
omg just made cake vodka jello shots, sooooo excited
dear god these taste like death. death and sprinkles
In either case, seeing now as it's basically two couples, unless we're planning to have a good old fashion orgy I think this isn't going to work out so well.
I've lost every trace of self esteem. Even sneaking a BJ in the coffee room has lost it's luster.