my cat ate my toast this morning while i was getting dressed. i can already tell today is going to suck.
I just learned that your liver regrows itself every 2 months. Best news I've heard all week.
No we didn't have sex. I got my period on his finger.
I fatbooth all their pics then decide which one is the cutest even if they gained like 400 lbs and then proceed to fuck him.
25 Facts Men Don’t Know About Women Until They Live Together
She got stuck in the front door. She never told me how or why.
Standing on the street at 6am in Hong Kong drinking beer. Watching all the hookers do the walk of shame from our hotel. How did I get here? Maybe all my bad choices in my life were really good ones?
YOU STOLE THE WEDDING CAKE?!?!
Only one tier
Tastes like cardboard anyway
We waved. But it was a "let's hook up" wave.
I HOPE YOU ENJOY THIS VDIEPO BECAUSE I AMS ENDIONG A LOKT OF EFFORT RECORIDNG IT
I ONLY PARTIALLY KNOW WHAT YOU SAID. BUT I THINK I WILL LIKE IT.
These 19 People Imagine Others When Banging Their SO
Do you have any pictures of me mounting animals that aren't on Facebook?
After seeing all of the pics during the trial, all I could think was "her vagina doesn't look THAT dangerous"
I just asked her to come in through the window, this pretty much solidifies the whole fuck-buddy thing...
YOU WORK IN THE US CAPITOL! YOU CANNOT HAVE SEX IN THE BATHROOM!!
Dude, you are totally ruining intern season for me...
he thought it would be funny to put his dick inside a beer bottle and wear it around. until we all realized how small his dick would have to be to fit in a beer bottle
Yeah last night got weird fast. No lie, a kid pulled a butt-plug with a tail out of his ass.