Now it won't go down.
You've got a gift.
Facials are how you say "I love you" in porn star.
Just found a glow stick inside of my vagina..
With the amount of traffic your vagina gets, it was only a matter of time before someone threw a rave there.
No, he will live forever, like cockroaches and Jack Bauer.
This Girl Got Ghosted By Her BF Of 5 Years While On A Trip They Took For Her Birthday
he kept a regular condom in his wallet just so he could comment on how it wouldnt fit before whipping out the magnums. i give him points for the build up
yeah he couldn't walk in a straight line and started throwing up and told the cop he just has an astigmatism
I owe you 20 bucks. My blood work did show liver damage.
The pride tent is doing free lube tastings. There is also a mechanical bull.
if I'm at school tomorrow just indulge my moment of pity and let me cry on your shoulder
People Are Applauding Chrissy Teigen For Getting Candid About Breast-Pumping
I brought a guy home then decided no. Took him back to the bar and said "I'm going to drop you where I found you. Have fun"
I think they make you graduate because you get too old to go hard and become a risk. homecoming weekend wins again. fuck.
Nothing like coaching 5 year olds with a bunch of visible bruises from last night's drunk bondage sex.
I responded with "neat-o burrito" to his SEXT...he tried so hard and I just panicked.
Oh, btw, UPS might come by. Drunk me ordered us $75 worth of gummy airhead starburst type candies. Whatever it is, it'll be delicious.
I'm not strong. I'm hormonal, sad, lonely, and trying to get laid via tinder