i would punch a child for taco bell
He gave his mom his old phone, and I am SO paranoid
Did you send adult things?
Um. Yes would be the understatement of the year
What happened on tuesday that a stripper knows my full name?
I want you to tape your fingers together and give me a lobster claw hand job.
These 29 Nasty People Went To The Bathroom In Public
Thanksgiving. This year's theme: I am thankful that I still have a liver.
All I need right now is some mouthwash, dignity, and security camera footage...
I hope you dream of an avalanche of penises
Yeah I figured you were blackout when you were Shakira dancing on the floor.
Will i get arrested If i steal the salvatiion arny guys bell for ringing it to close to my hangover
19 People Who Had An Inappropriate Celebrity Encounter
I happen to have lost a black t-shirt and the volume button from my phone last night. If anyone finds it. You know what to do.
You kept running up to married couples, taking their pictures and begging for them not to get divorced
There a special place in hell for drunk criers. A special FUCKING PLACE
If magic marker is safe for kids, it should be safe for cats...right?
I accidentally told my mom I broke my drug nail this weekend
Do you know how awkward it is to get a dick pic while working at babies r us?