He said i was a degenerate twofaced catholic slut and a grade a bitch. Quite complimentary really. i guess i shouldn't insult the red wings
There's a man in a pair of gray footie pajamas and a paper crown watching the kids at the playground. It was easier to tell who was a pedophile before Where the Wild Things Are came out.
Thinking about fake proposing to my gf just so the middle aged women next to us will buy us drinks
I could be wrong, but im pretty sure i jumped off the roof after my lighter.
according to the random from alabama i slept with last night i kept saying "poor lil tink tink" over and over in my sleep
I have no idea, but there's a bus parked in front of my house and like 6 texts saying im gonna prove my love. this is either really really awesome or really really bad.
all i remember is walking in on u shitting and crying listening to shawty get loose. its safe to say this break up has taken a toll on u
You know you went through something intense when you actuallu applaud yourself for not shitting your pants
I'm pretty sure that the bartender arranged a marriage for me last night. Sounds like a legit birthday present to me.
I went to a party last night....I stole all of their ornaments and the toaster oven.
He makes bad life choices and drives a wagon, how is that not my type?
boys just don't understand what they're missing out on.
he's missing out on my boobs looking marvelous this evening.
Bold words for someone NOT on a unicycle
I'll bring spiced rum
I am not drinking that devil juice
When God closes one door, he opens up a taller, smarter, more successful door, with a bigger cock and nicer teeth.
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