yeah worst sex in my life. plus i think her little brother was in the room.
I couldn't get internet on my iPod in this hotel room for porn, so I made due with UFC.
I'm not sure what to say to that.
After work we went home to fool around. Turns out he had sawdust under his foreskin. I'm never going down on him again.
Yeah he is here but I can't let him know I am until he has like 30 min worth of drinks. so when he see me he isn't like "omg ew,NO!"
I have so much to learn from you, wise slut
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Replacing day drinking with a real job was the worst decision I've ever made.
We had sex in front of Notre Dame Cathedral, but I lost my wallet. God giveth and God taketh away.
4 random people called me telling me they found him sleeping in the fetal postion on a driveway 45 minutes after we lost him
You really need to get over the whole "jail" thing. Its really not that bad.
May or may not have been going down the road shooting fireworks.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
THE MAINTENANCE MEN WERE DOWN STAIRS AND I THOUGHT THEY WERE MY MOM. I'VE BEEN YELLING 'GRILL ME A CHEESE' AT THEM FOR HALF AN HOUR
Probably gonna run and pray I throw up. Then go get a coffee/bagel & continue to rally
Let's just say it was like a porno version of Aladdin....
I told him no rough stuff and he immediately bit my ass. Who the fuck does that?
She has my name on her bucket list. I’m either getting laid or killed
I’ll call you later. There’s a jilted trophy wife looking for a revenge fuck at my door
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