hahaha he is wasted in math class right now and is drawing all the planets in order from the sun
He gave me the "I've pictured you while jerkin off" look
She is the perfect woman. She cooks, gives good head and doesn't care that I have a small penis.
i dodnt think we hooked up bcause he actually texted me the next day
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She tried to lure me back to her house by saying she had "real" pizza.
I can't begin to describe what I look like walking through the grocery store with this outfit and chocolate syrup.
I can't wait to hear about your drunken cab ride to planned parenthood at 2pm
Gina was bawling her eyes out and then she ran into the street and peed. she kept screaming "LOOK WHAT YOUVE DONE TO ME"
Need you on the dancefloor. Hungry and lonely.
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I guess, all I remember was giving you road head the whole way there so you wouldn't fall asleep.
I thought I could grab a hold of my stream of urine. So she left pretty soon after that.
I decided staying home, watching porn and masterbating was a much better choice than the gym. And I was right.
It could be worse. I was dumped by a guy in a kilt after he gave my shoes away on St. Patrick's Day.
I'm taking a pole dancing class this morning. Can I put you down as my emergency contact? I'm NOT putting my mother
My hand smells like rave and peanut butter.