my roommate's gf just broke up with him and hes in his room crying and listening to coldplay while beating off to pictures of her...
i woke up, turned over, and noticed an assortment of knives stuck in my wall. i should prob stop drinking
Since when does wearing a condom and going down on me make someone a gentlemen?
a commercial for my antidepressant came on and they said you shouldn't take if if you drink right as i took a shot
god is laughing at you again
23 Roommates Share Secrets Their Roomie Thinks They Don’t Know
Fuck him. I'll set him on fire for you. Then we'll see how good of a firefighter he is.
I found a wheel chair. there is now a high chance im going to be fired from this job
i've met an abundance of virgins and guys who where flip flops, i thinks there's a correlation
Bank of America: Available balance is $546.25 on 03/04/2011 for account 8428. Go online for details. TextSTOPtoStop/TextHELPforHelp
i loe djcudia fjxos rue.
and then he publicly announced her herpes on facebook.
29 Cringeworthy Situations People Realized They Shouldn’t Be In
Fat girl left in a hurry. Possibly had to do with the missing bathroom door in my apartment.
i woke up wearing her shoes. this night isn't going on my highlight reel
Sitting here reading the internet and all i have to show for this summer is a shitty tan and the possible case of clamidia.
the quiet that you are hearing is a silent suggestion that you should go fuck yourself
Dude, he paid us overtime to smoke weed out of a bong at his house
How drunk you think somebody has to be, that they think that putting out a profile pic like that can be even a slightly good idea?