Having him eat chocolate out of you is not as romantic as it sounds. I'm still finding pieces.
I walked downstairs and there were 50 sorority girls. I wasn't expecting an audience during my walk of shame.
hey got me stoned for the first time when i was 14. there is no bond stronger
if he wont fuck me on the stairamster then i dont think theres much XXX shit going down
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She's okay as an interesting car wreck. But as a sexual object she's funny
drunk tastebuds have low standards.
I swiped a lunchable and a gatorade from my one night stand's fridge, does it count as a date now since a meal was included?
Walked girl from last night to car as gf was driving up. Got slow clap from neighbors.
My going away gift was all of them dancing around with solo cups on their dick and balls...these are my friends
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My period started right as he was entering, which really helped me sell the "I've never done this before" bit.
There are so many things that would come back to haunt me if I ran for President someday.
like that video of you mad stoned vomiting in the bdubs parking lot after going to a pizza buffet screaming how you needed to make room for froyo
I shall welcome him into my body with an open liver and completely lay down all chance of resistance. Sweet Zeus, please take me to Mt. Olympus and share all that is divine. I promise, the secrets will be safe with me
UPS just delivered me 30lbs of dried cherries... I shouldn't be allowed online when I take painkillers.
There is a goat eating lettuce out of our fridge. Do you wanna grab a bloody mary?
I'm jealous, curious, and aroused. All at the same time.
My job here is done.