My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
Dipping chips in queso and thinking of your beautiful face
Drunk and had dance off with 8 year old. Lost. Still drinking
Every time my boyfriend threatens to commit suicide I change my relationship status as "widowed".
She threw up a whole curly fry. A. WHOLE. CURLY. FRY.
Your remote is drenched in lotion and you expect me to believe you weren't masturbating?!
What a whore. She reminds me of that asian guy who can eat all the hotdogs.
How did the whale quest end up? I saw u hit a little snag when the first one heard you call her that.
I don't care how old I am, if it's your 21st birthday I'm going to make out with you.
i know you're upset so i should probs be supportive but i've got nothing in that department. your life suuuuucks
I just woke up on the living room floor at my parents house. The last thing I remember was making a scene at Buffalo Wild Wings because our waitress "Sent the game into overtime" with a 0-0 score
You know how I said I hit my head so hard I saw two of him and tried to make out with both? Well, it turns out he has a twin.
He deserves someone who will touch his penis at 3 a.m.
That was years ago. And it was chlamydia.
a guy just skateboarded past my window in a bunny suit while chased by a dog walker