dude I just sharted for the first time ever, kind of gross
well what did you think, shitting your pants would be fun
thanks for singing to me while i puked last night
its was like we drinking an entire bottle of mystery
Well if it makes you feel any better I threw up at Roadhouse. And then on the way to the train. And then in a water fountain. And then in a plastic bag on the train.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
passed a homeless guy with a sign that read "420 vetran" we gave him a bowl of bud
Seriously this night has "go home now before you cry, puke or scream on someone" written all over it.
he told me i smelled like babies and pine needles and he wanted to bathe with me. new boyfriend is not a keeper
Just watched a drunk girl hand her valet ticket to a cop and walk away.
Grandma is giving me marriage advice again. On the plus side, she thinks I'm straight now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Because making bad decisions is what makes our house great and I don't plan on changing that anytime soon.
I'm super depressed and stressed and I just want spaghetti and sex...
I was eating pickles straight from a jar, contemplating doing something productive. What did I miss?
i was making a gravity bong in my room and my dad walked in. he helped me finish. i love being home for the holidays.
Jesus better clutch that motherfucking wheel, then.
I'M NOT PUTTING MY TRUST IN JESUS! I'M PUTTING MY TRUST IN YOU!
Get over here and bring your drill!!! The strippers next door need help installing a stripper pole by their pool
Randomize