I just watched Juno. I kind of wish I was in highschool and pregnant
I just poured my flask into a drink. Then I realized the drink belonged to the guy next to me so I stole it from him. He confronted me and I made out with him to distract him. When I looked up, I realized his wife was watching. Its barely 10:00.
I like you better when you drink
I like you better when I drink too
so sad. i just ate the last good 'n' plenty out of the bottom of my purse.
21 Horribly Evil Pranks To Play On Your Drunk Friends
airport. 106 proof japanese liquor. 4 little travel size containers. im proud to be smarter than the average american.
she wanted to watch hairspray while we fucked. she's obviously your kinda girl, dude.
All I did this weekend was get my life in order. I feel like I wasted my time.
I want to celebrate with you...
There's nothing I'd like more than a celebratory "The guy I'm doing just found out he's not a baby daddy" dinner.
I have hit nutritional rock bottom I am spreading peanut butter on to lays potato chips
29 Times Beach Sex Ended With Sand In All The Wrong Places
Are we playing "how much awkwardness can we fit in the final 29 hours of 2011"?
yes yes we are. Go do something with super glue. i don't want to win.
They should really start adding the average cost of day drinking to our cost analysis sheets. Does FAFSA cover this? No. It doesn't.
If it meant we had chicks like that every weekend I would gay marry the shit out of you dude
You know you've got awesome issues when the main deciding factor of whether or not to cut your nails depends on nacho consumption in the near future
The comfort of this onesie is keeping me single
The thing about pooping in the woods during hunting season is you never know if someone's watching you.