I think about you every night.
Do 'mystery' cracked ribs heal any quicker than regular ones?
Fuuuuck. Forgot it's October. FYI scarecrows are gonna fuck you up when you're driving high
i want to find a way to basically assault his face with my vagina.
These 19 Teachers Had Very Inappropriate Interactions With Students
Did the math... it's Magna Cum Laude whether I get a 4.0 or a 0.0 this semester. I'm blacking out now, wake me up when I have to walk across the stage,
Their car went through the first bag of wine on the drive up...clearly 6 bags was not enough.
so according the 72 facebook statuses i put up last night that i don't recall, i would say it was a success. how about you?
It's the first day of summer. It's not a race it's a marathon. Pace yourself
And then the lady sheeps would bring me the finest grass to eat cuz im the sheep king and id have sexy smooth sheep fur
Women Confess 25 Instant Deal-Breakers On A Man’s Dating Profile
My number one goal in life is to find out who can fill a keg with Popov
Someone younger than me just got married. Send help and vodka
I need something for rope burns and an inner ear infection. Separate incidents, FYI..
Had to decide between a hook up at the train restroom or getting to work on time #growingup
Also, can next Friday be Long Underwear Friday instead of Jockstrap Friday? Because I'm about to cough up a testicle.
Dude i'm still drunk and i'm feeding a raccoon cereal from my bedroom window