i wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commericals
can I come stay the night
yeah, but no sex tonight
I'll stay home
I'm up to 9 pic of different guys. I need 4 more boys and each one of the 13 to submit 3 additional pics. I wanna make a penis deck of cards.
She whispered into my eat that she wanted me to fuck her while her parrot watched...
I cant be sure, but i think ive been drunk in this church before.
I recommend we watch the Super Bowl together and have celebratory sex if we win. Good news is I don't have a team I dislike so were guaranteed a win.
New drink: empty coke can vodka water maple syrup. Get on my level
This drive is very scenic
And I'm chugging whiskey in the back
As you should, soak in all this country has to offer
So dude comes out in a full body leotard and a wand and announced he's king of the gays. Chicago is a weird but fun place
As soon as the clock wound down to zero, she declared "HALF-TIME HEAD" and pulled down my pants. After the swallow, she said "BEER CHASER," got me a new one, and asked if she could make me a sandwich. Pretty sure she's lobbying hard for a ring.
you can't let guys come on your chest and then hog my blanket
Moral of the story: next time my plans include you and bourbon, I'm packing a toothbrush.
His face matches his life choices. Both are train wrecks.
I'm recreating the you're a wizard harry video with a guy on snapchat whilst having snapchat sex with another... Adulting is fun
This is like 50 shades on steroids but with healthy relationship models and mutual respect among all parties involved and lesbian activity.