I told him to go down on me and when he did he started crying!! I asked him why and he said my vag looked just like his ex girlfriends!!!
He literally just walked in some random persons house and walked right to they're pantry. Then five minutes later he walks out with pop-tarts, mac and cheese, and captain morgan. We need to chill with this kid more often.
My overnight senior got drunk and hooked up with Kaylee on Sunday. I checked Facebook and he already put down his deposit for next year. This school should pay me a commission.
he fucked me to the beat of the construction going on outside my house. i will never look at jackhammers the same ever again.
and I think you ate the old crusty spaghetti on the counter when we came home last night judging by the carnage
Hey, if I can't get it and you're still alive, can you get the glass out of my foot? Happy Sunday.
hahaha every time i hear a motorcycle i think about that one time you almost died
Thanks for the flashbacks you prick.
My very favorite thing in the whole world is when guys try to booty call her as I'm fucking her. Sucks to suck.
You will drink beer in a kiddie pool in your back yard but you wont bring a girl home
WHY IS THE HAIRSPRAY SOUNDTRACK PLAYING IN THE LIQUOR STORE
Well at least I will forever be known as the girl he ate out on the lifeguard stand while people walked by. On the first date.
I'm in jersey with marbles.. He's blasted about to fuck a manatee and his entire family is trying to stop it. His mother punched me in the chest for not trying hard enough
Safe to say we should stock up on nipple bandaids ladies
You didnt text me.. I'm on your street with golf clubs
Only you would offer whiskey to a man in liver failure.
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