How come twittering sounds sexual?
Because of Bambi.
I want to walk on stilts...naked
alex threw up in my bong. i'm going to call it a night.
found some acid from a couple months ago while looking through christmas lights. Looks like santa came early this year.
I give him blow jobs while he watches sports.. how am I not his gf yet??
If theres one good thing that came out of our relationship its this chicken recipe. And squirting.
the fda needs to get their shit together cause these four loko going away parties are gonna kill me
i need to find a notary that isn't going to turn me in for blatantly lying to the us and chilean governments
the lady next to me just sniffed my hair, smiled, and then fell asleep. I almost started crying from that kind of creepiness
don't cry, we can learn from her
and I keep making him eat me out and buying me presents, this is paradise. I wish he cheated on me earlier.
So for future reference.... it's a little unnerving when I can't get hold of you, and the last communication we had was, "Oh fuck... It's tequila"
Oh dude I know. When something that's supposed stop pregnancies taste like chocolate something's up
I went to a community college and majored in Bad Decisions. I'm not exactly a chick magnet.
Of all the things I've masturbated to while high, my favorites are ritz chips and trees
He overslept for our prescheduled morning sex. The fact that my vagina isn't enough to get him out of bed was the last straw.
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