O.A.R does not stand for Old Recycled Abortions.
You and I should start a club for people who woke up on outside on a bench with no idea how they got there.
I like one night stands...theyre like crushes for big kids
Man, I must say, having known you since preschool, Eiffel-Tower-ing her would've fully completed our journey to brotherhood.
I AM THE KING OF THE FRESHMEN
how did i know this would happen?
I'm tired of stuffing my fat into a slutty costume. Next year let's go as homeless girls. Cute ones. In leggings with camel toe.
I'm trying to ve beat feiesnd sent.
No matter how drunk I am or how drunk I'll ever be I love you
I'm keeping track of how many times I've said "Shhh, act like you're not naked." in my life. So far, 3 times.
Dinner at my parents is vodka, lemonade, cheese ad crackers. Why would I leave?
At least is you came to Milwaukee to visit me you'd get the best mind blowing sex of your life and free wifi. Who doesn't want free wifi!
I'm high and having a granola buffet this has got to be the healthiest I have ever been
Your final is gonna be as easy for you as getting into straight girls' pants is for me.
I just watched your sister pour half a bottle of cotton candy flavored snow cone syrup into a bottle of marshmallow flavored vodka, take a swig, frown, and pour a cherry coke in.
Just wait until she offers you a "powerita"
What did we do lastnight that resulted in a $1,896 charge on my credit card with a $2,000 limit
Randomize
