good call on bringing her. it's always good to invite chicks who mix booze and prescription drugs.
she works at a police station now. i think thats the definition of keeping your enemies closer.
I can't wait for the 4th. I'll probably get drunk and end up puking all over whichever 18 year old I end up making out with.
The doctor told me if I woke up with a broken foot and don't know how it happened, I might want to look into getting treatment.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wouldn't have puked last night if I didn't inhale straight pepper from you shattering the pepper shaker on the wall.
I met a bunch of Germans and said in german "this is for the fatherland" and poured a beer on my head
Random Survey Question: If things start getting serious with this cop, do I have to stop doing coke?
Then she looked me straight in the eyes and asked me if I missed my foreskin. Weirdest conversation ever.
I'm sorry your Amazon says buttplugs now
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's like a Lana del Rey song that took human form
apparently when she asked me how drunk I was on a scale of 1-10, I answered "bitch I'm fabulous" and tried to do a sassy hairflip. but I have short hair.
Well just saw that professor I hooked up with on campus and I look like a dumpster baby
We keep making plans but he keeps getting arrested. Such a tease
She told me I’m a “stunt cock.” I’m okay with that
His mom knocked on the door during morning sex because we were being too loud...now i have to meet her for the first time
Randomize