I'm at a bar that has girls so awful looking even you would not have sex with them.
Well... I doubt that.
Thanks for making me watch you dance provacatively by yourself in the bathroom so you could see if you looked fat.
dude...I wrote 15 jersey shore quotes on her body. she is going to do the walk of shame with snookie on her forehead.
Slept on the counter again. Mom covered me in an apron.
If you want me to retract my crazy cat lady comments pictures of yourself dressed as a cat are not the way to do it.
The fact that he said "there's nothing wrong with being a raging drunk, just ask my mother." has me thinking that I have no positive role-models among my friends.
what the hell is that chicken wire thing she's holding?
An artistic expression of her stupidity.
COME HERE WE MELTED A CORONA BOTTLE WITH FIREWORKS
Drunk Jeff aka Dreff thinks he's about 3x cooler than be really is and about 100x better at dancing than he really is
It's always nice when a total stranger hates your ex just as much as you think they should.
So as a result of a tragic manscaping accident I've had to shave all the hair off of my legs. The result is... not great
we played animal sounds and i linked arms with her cuz we were both cats....fate and my community college drama teacher have chosen my one night stand
My fridge is empty and all of my food is in the bathtub. Just.. Why?
Hey kevin, it's Ashlee. I have been trying to get ahold of you. Your pledge gave me your number. I really wanted to apologize for shitting in your car I'll buy new upholstery or pay to have it shampooed if needed. I'm so embarrassed.
so at target i bought condoms, on sale undies, pasta roni, and martini mix. the old lady who rang me up asked "honey are you a freshman?" yea lady i am, thanks.
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