WHY DID I DRINK ALL THE INGREDIENTS FOR VOMIT?!
so you masturbated because Oprah told you?
I promise you I could read that dogs mind, he was arguing with the other dog saying he knows how fucked up I am
He screamed "Hug me!" and dove into the bushes. How he gets laid every weekend is beyond me.
There is a contact in my phone named "Bar Mcntysu." this is why we need a third person to go out with us.
nothing like a cross blunt to celebrate the birth of our savior
I should just black out in my front yard again- that was a great nights sleep.
You said dick pics aren't attractive
Random ones, from strangers, no. But a beautiful penis I know and love, absolutely :3
Nothing says happy valentines day like waking up to a naked man you hooked up with taking a walk of shame
I don't think tits should taste like fish.
My New Year's resolution is to chill out on the group sex. At least with my friends anyway.
i am no longer ashamed when i walk into the dining hall for sunday brunch and i'm greeted with applause for suriving my weekend
He just blew a .079. Jesus loves him THAT much.
I promised to leave my panties on but I didn't promise to not have sex
On a scale of one to 10 how Risky is it to sleep with a married man (all morals set aside)