I just got fire extinguished by his roommate while we were having sex. That's just taking cock blocking to a whole new level.
we convinced you the moon was a planet...again
she's on the floor slapping my dogs face with slices of pizza
She bit a glass in half.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You basically told your boyfriend at the time you were going to shit in his hands.
And I meant every ounce of it.
How am I supposed to stop smoking pot when girl scout cookies are being sold.
But theres a keg here and me gusta
they adjusted my tv to black and white ... i thought i drank myself to colorblindness
We may not see eye-to-eye on much, but I'm definitely willing to let you see eye-to-vagina again.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'll take care of you. Just let me pee on this old white person's car first.
I just need some breakup sex yanno like filthy wish fulfilling breakup sex to make me forget what I never had
I mean you're asking high Chelsea. I'd sell myself for a rice crispy
Haha I had a heart to heart with a stripper so I would say it was a success?
I need water and some morals
He literally just laid flat on top of me motionless at one point. It felt less like foreplay and more like he was trying to use me as a flotation device. 0/10
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