Dude, my boy c***** and I hooked up with Asian sisters last night in the same room
Then I put on blue by Eiffel 65 and security showed up and yelled at us for being too loud. Also, they stopped fucking because no one can fuck to eiffel 65
OMG THIS GUYS LICENSE PLATE IS GETTNHRWET
dude ... she has a full length mirror in her shower, don't even tell me shes not dtf
just puked in a purse in the store. some girl asked if i was gonna buy it now and i laughed and asked her why id want a bag some dude just puked in. her face looked like she saw the devil.
One of my preschool students told me today that it's not pollution that makes the water in lakes unclean. It's the hobos. I was absolutely speechless. And just so proud.
It was so weird. I had like an out of body experience. I heard the moaning, but I didn't know it was me.
Its against the rules to not make you aware of his virgin situation prior to penetration
It's "your husband had his mouth on my vagina" awkward.
Tell your friends I said hi and that if they touch your penis I'll cut off their hands.
My date just wheeled me home in a shopping cart but it was normal
I keep confusing the name of her and her dog. Both are appropriate.
It's like god touched my soul and said 'you will be great in bed'
Some guy just drank alcohol from me shoe..I think he's had enough..
Stephen I'm in a lecture and the lecturer just said 'you can CHOOSE to put something in your mouth and swallow it" i'm the only one here who burst out laughing, this is awkward. Thought you'd appreciate it.
They'll never let you practice medicine.
I was the oldest, shortest, and soberest at the New Years party last night. My life sucks
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