don't go back without me... they'll know i'm pooping.
Buying beer for freshmen. No matter what they ask for, I'm getting them Colt 45.
Pretty sure I just became the first person ever to use the word "boner" in a wedding card...
What's the protocol when you drive the girl's head into the wall during sex and she starts to cry?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
there's a picture of you and pauly shore at a starbucks on my phone
She wants to practice her harmonica skills on my penis
Called the cops on a high school party then went in after all the kids ran away and took the rest of the beer. What are you doing tonight?
Good. We don't answer calls at dick thirty.
We're having soft pretzels and cheese dip for dinner tonight. Like fucking adults.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Who says there aren't gentlemen anymore? My one night stand warmed up my car for me
I just gave myself a sponge bath with your sock. I hope you don't mind.
things were going awesome until jimmy put out a cigarette in the everclear.
Say what you want about my van, but I've got more action there than in my apartment. A body pillow and a joint still go a long way!
I expected better sex from someone with the word CHAOS tattooed above his dick. But on the bright side, he was down to watch a documentary on Honey Badgers afterwards so I guess I'll keep him around.
Well now you know my birthday fantasy: gangbang consisting of men wearing NPR pledge t-shirts.
Randomize