one might say we're banned from that church
He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
do you think the kids from 7th heaven are mad that dennis and sweet dee are their half-brother and sister?
he nicknamed his dick "too big to fail"
I'm pretty sure we put the facepaint on during whippets
I think shooting the BMW with the bow and arrow is when our group became the evening's antagonist
We got caught having sex in the bathroom by my professor. In accordance with tradition, we still brofisted. I think my grade went up considerably.
Apparently this is my life now. Fucking men in their 30s with small dogs.
I normally need adult supervision or a babysitter, but I refuse to let someone keep me from making irresponsible and wrong decisions at the bar on my last bday ill ever have in texas
My pants are like a grocery bag containing ONLY jelly beans right now.
Oh yeah I remember when I first saw Kyler's balls. If there's anything high school swim prepared me for, it's the amount of testicles I would see here
Went to night shots with Kayla... she punched this guy and I got his friends number. Not sure if she's the best or worst wingman ever.
Dude.. She just busted into my house wearing a ski mask, a poncho, and thigh-high pink hooker boots and yelled, "THE CABS ARE HEEERRREEE!!"
I love how fuckboys immediately become cultured when I tell them I’m an artist.
I got a 93 percent on my last mid term and I was drunk. Think of the possibilities if i were sober for the one thats tommorrow.
Randomize
