I am watching Grease 2 and properly learning how to apply a condom to a banana. This is a sign from God that this is the closest I will ever get to having the need for one.
For the record I fully support drunken you in most social situations... Just not charity events.
it wasn't THAT bad but he definitely called his dick an asshole and said sorry to my vagina
Foreign porn with subtitles is a little disappointing.
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she left out the fact that she had a kid until she told me not to suck on her tits too hard or milk would come out.
Her parents walked in on us. So for my birthday they bought me a blow-up doll with their daughters face on it. I don't know what to think right now.
I think I love you, but I may be biased because we had pirate sex.
We played strip Bananagrams and I won. Thank fuck I read a lot as a child.
The best way to start drinking is as early as possible. eg, this bar isn't open but we're patiently waiting outside. That way you're confident and exciting when the talent arrives. Or too drunk to care.
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I'be color coordinated the clothes in my closet and my underwear drawer. I'm like an advertisement for house arrest. Help.
We got to the second bar and all he kept saying was "I'm on an alcohol safari!" Best 21st birthday ever.
He played with my boobs the whole time we watched Scott Pilgrim and then started invited others to play with them too. It reminded me of how my mom gives out my french fries without asking.
returning from a 6am booty call in 2 feet of snow on a Tuesday is a bold new kind of low for me
Are you seriously getting this frustrated over a hand-job right now?
Its not something you can force it it just has to happen like a rainbow or pooping
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