My bed smells like naked
Haha. At least it doesn't smell like herpes
It's always exciting to touch a new boob.
You asked my mom "who the fuck drives four hours to sleep in a guys bed and not touch his penis"
Remember the time we were horrifically hung over, went to mcdonalds, an you merely felt the weight of the mcnuggets box and knew there was an extra?
like it was yesterday
He kept his baseball cap on when he went down on me...
Its the least I can do really, I mean, I did sleep with her husband...
She's in the hospital because she tried to steal a toilet seat from an outhouse and fell off the bank. We're gonna hang the toilet seat by the pool.
I wish I cared about making my vagina as presentable as you do.
If a girl called me a promiscuous philandering Casanova, should I say thank you?
Most definitely.
Pornhub is still operational. Therefore, the world has NOT come to an end in the blizzard!
I also woke up in a guys bed in a Reptar shirt yesterday morning staring at a movie theater sized poster of the not as popular Air Bud franchise movie Super Buddies.
He told me I smelled like peanut butter, pepperoni, and pure unbrieldled passion.
The dick lei will go down in squad history
I didn't want dick. I wanted spaghetti.
There's just something classy about smoking a blunt in a prom dress.
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