tiger just fucked it up for all of us...she grabbed my phone this morning and started asking questions.
wow, so sex, not that great its like masturbating with a warm towelette, like the kind you get at a japanese restaurant
I am spending my work day planning my weekend drinking schedule
this one can actually spell my name, that's a shoe-in
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she woke up, said "please dont tell me your name, i dont want to remember it"
Good news.. I found out what I did Saturday night. Bad news... I found out what I did Saturday night.
I offered to go to AA with him...not because I am admitting I have a problem but because I want to see what they are saying about people like us.
I think they can follow the trail of blood to my house if they have a problem with me taking a dip in their hot tub last night b4 stepping on a broken bottle
I'm drinking sangria out of a sand pail. I'll pass on tonight
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So the doctor told me that I am starting to showing the early signs of liver cirrhosis. Thank you Jack Daniels for making the first 26 years of my life awesome.
Strip club for my birthday. And none of this discrimination shit. We're going to a guys one and girls one. Go get your singles.
And I can feel feelings now and they hurt
want to know what my life has come to? I just took a 45 min shower banging on the walls and making loud sex noises so my neighbors think I get some.
Sorry about the picture of wills balls via snapchat last night btw
Just told some little girl not to judge me as I brushed my teeth in the target bathroom