Is it normal that I have to take off my pants to get mouth stitches removed?
Girls don't like it when you cum inside them and then discuss baby names.
Waitress cut us off at Chili's bar. New low
How do I say "sorry I gave you and your sister herpes" in German?
29 Petty People Reveal The Shallow Reasons They Turned Someone Down
your suggestions for charades were, getting sucked into an aircraft turbine, getting raped by a dolphin, and having sex with a vacuum cleaner. you got your own, and actually used a vacuum cleaner as a prop.
I'm someone's dream girl. I'm hungover in this guy's bed wearing ONLY a Brian Westbrook jersey. Not the same I was on a date with last night.
just upper decked a verizon store cause they don't cover against "getting phone crushed by a keg." had to pay 175 for a new one
you know it takes a lot for me to use utensils conservatively
I'm pretty sure getting a blow job behind a bar in Rome while her little sister is throwing up in a dumpster not 5 feet away, gives entirely new meaning to the phrase "When in Rome"
21 Horribly Evil Pranks To Play On Your Drunk Friends
I made him a flow chart of what to do if I got arrested.
We could be hammered at a childrens film. You failed me
I've had to much cheese to give a fuck about anything. im tired.
He keeps bees of course he's weird
I didn't know that all of his brothers would be hot and musical too. That's a dick move on behalf of biology.
Grrr. Fine. You get oral for being unwrong.