She was not exactly lady-like. Down there.
On a scale of one to Chris Brown, how angry are you?
We were laughing at the passed out guy who had gone to sleep under the car in the McDonald's lot until we realized it was you.
Dude. My sister is off limits. Touch her again and I'll rip off your dick and force feed it to you.
I accept this challenge.
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That's like lying to my vagina. I can't betray it like that.
I was puzzled last night that there were shots waiting for us when we got there. Just read my messages and saw you were ordering from the bar via texts.
Sharing a bathroom with a guy sucks. I always have to set an alarm for the middle of the night just so I can take a dump. Poop text btw
It was a group decision to take your pants off. Took a solid 10 minutes. No more skinny jeans while drinking.
Is this the girl that wrote "Poon Slayer" across my chest?!
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It's all good. Going back to my room to try and air out my balls.
You don't want any of I have. Seriously. Its 80 proof rum that was 8 bucks for a liter. I'm afraid
I'm sure your liver is writing out a will as we speak
Oh, fuck yeah. I swear I came with every bite. Not even joking. Messiest meal ever.
Wow, thanks for ruining pizza for me. I didn't think it was possible.
Chris used to fill up a Camel Back for thirsty Thursday. God I really miss him, do you remember when he gets out of jail?
It's 11:50 on Friday the 13th. There's a full moon. AND the bride to be just puked on herself while getting a lap dance from a stripper named...wait for it....LUCKY. Is this real life?
I just remember banging him and then at some point I went and took a shower and went and laid in the closet