There was so much of it... it was like he poured a bowl of pudding on my face. It's not bad for your hair is it?
There are huge fuckin pieces of palm tree in the road. what a road hazard. as i sit here and text you as i swerve to miss them
You told me I was special while we were having sex and I asked why.
What did I say?
Don't ask me questions while I have an erection,
I had sex on an exercise ball. The inevitable has occurred.
Dating After Heartbreak
ill give you the fast version. Hooked up with 17 year old coworker while housestting for my boss
I had to explain the gravity bong to my mom. Right after she pointed out I have a lot of dicks on my floor at any given moment.
So his mom walked in the kitchen while I was sucking him off and just casually suggested that "I'd need a glass of water after that"
We found him in the neighbors shed using a bicycle as a blanket. We just left him there.
Obviously he considers you not fucking him as fucking up. Thus making him fuck up. Based on this I believe he should be disqualified from the race to your vagina.
These Images Prove Chrissy Teigen is the Funniest Model Alive
He came over hammered at four in the morning with roses trying to get me back when my new fling opened the door he just stood there crying for 40mins even after we closed the door
you're the one asking for my vibrator at 4 in the morning so reconsider your life
You. Dating a sex offender cop. Life writes itself sometimes.
Pretend you're in a taco. That always helps me sleep.
I also point out to everyone that she looks like DJ's gf on Roseanne.
This means I've slept with 2 ppl that live in vans...my life is complete