There is an asian family here, I heard the mom call her son onyong
On a scale of one to Chris Brown, how angry are you?
I just tried to light a cigarette with a tube of lipstick. If I had stayed in girl scouts maybe I could've made that happen.
They had a "who can aim further away from the toilet" contest. I'm now washing piss off my ceiling.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The lesbians are drunkenly meowing in the hallway again. This is the shit I'll miss at home.
Today I met the neighbor that shares my bedroom wall. When I pointed out my unit, he said, "Oh, that's you? Oh... that's you." I didn't think much of it until I was in bed tonight and I heard him clear his throat. He's. Heard. Everything.
you described his penis as a "portable fishing pole"
I was just handed jelly beans by a guy in a penguin costume. Standby for confirmation on if they are actually drugs.
in case you were wondering, even a BJ under a blanket on the back of a bus only lifts a 14-hour bus ride to borderline tolerable.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I know shes my ex. And I know she punched me in the face and stole my car to go get drunk. But it's the best sex I've ever had.
You're sick. Take pictures if you can.
He took off his priest costume and proceeded to dryhump the teletubby.
i made sure not to drool on your bed by putting my hoodie on backwards and swaddling my face in the hood
I'm such a good drunk match marker. You single, you single... Drunk friend meet single boy. BOOM illegitimate baby made!
Like I fucked him in the shower at 3 am when I had classes all day the next day so he can't say I'm not dedicated
you can see where the duct tape was on my nipple
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